09/13 - This Turkers Work Thursday

I know she's a diva and licked those donuts, but didn't really know she was that shitty. Pete Davidson still doesn't seem believable though. I'm just not buying it.

 

Know that's hella wicked tongue-in-cheek, but just for the sake of convo, I wish I was able to do that, lol.

I consider myself a pretty smart person (tm), which makes anxiety torture for me, because I know when I'm being irrational. I can pinpoint it, and tell myself: "My dude, you need to calm your tits, it's fine, people don't [think you're dumb/hate you/etc]", but it's a process I've never really been able to get control of.

Also yes, my inner monologue self-references as "my dude".

 

This woman could literally be Joseph fucking Stalin reincarnated and I'd still eat a pound of her shit just to see where it came from.

 

Honestly everything came to a head when I was going through my alcoholism

I used to care what people thought of me, all the fucking time. "Do they like me? Am I funny? Did I make them mad? Do they like me? What do they think of me? Are my clothes weird?"

bladdy fucking blah.

Then I really realized that for the most part, I don't fucking think about people. For the most part, other people who see me in the street don't think about me either.

Slowly realizing that was very liberating. Just as an example, I now feel comfortable walking around with unshaven legs, and don't give two fucks if anyone notices or cares. And except for the rare (very rare) few, people keep their opinions to themselves

For those few I told them I wouldn't fuck them anyways so wtf do they care, and that was pretty much it

 

For me, it’s not even about what people think of me, so much as this paralyzing fear that has no good source. It’s just nastiness. I’m not nearly as bad as I was a couple years ago, but I get real weird sometimes.

I feel great in work situations and stuff too where I deal with a ton of people.

Eh. I deal with it, but my social anxiety is just like shitty me waking up and deciding to take over for awhile.

I call my depression shitty me lol. GO AWAY SHITTY ME. NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE!

The good news is that shitty me is real out of shape and she’s temporarily dead on the PCT for awhile.

 

My s.o. speculated something about meme culture/online stuff having something to do with them being compatible when I saw they were dating. No idea how true that is, I don't really follow post-Disney celebs or SNL, I thought it was kind of random too

 

just going out and hiking you are encountering new people and making new experiences so I say you're winning on all fronts

 

I used to be very shy, then one day I said I don't wanna be shy
So I forced myself to look everyone in the eye and smile, And when I say everyone, where I worked, tens f thousands of people came through a day, and it worked so well, I never looked back

 

I posted an article awhile back about it. She’s just kinda notorious for being super garbo to people and whatnot. I mean, she can do as she pleases and whatever, she’s clearly successful enough to do what she wants, but I’m not that shocked by her odd dating choices lol.

 

That's more what it is for me too.

It's mostly an unknown source... and it sort of makes me search for what's wrong I guess? I just sort of invent things to worry about in an effort to understand why I feel like that, and then they start feeling VERY real.

This leads me to start over-analyzing conversations, and feeling like everyone hates me. That's the most common route for me.

I like to describe anxiety as playing a video game, and hearing the boss music start randomly, but the boss never shows up.

 

hi5 man, thats the ticket.

When I say it was a slow process it really was, took years of me saying "I don't care, I don't care, they don't matter" etc etc etc

 

just 1 pound? id literally take a ton. get on my level b

 

Lol. A crap ton.

 

I'm sitting here saying I don't even think she's all that, and everyone else is lining up to eat her poop

 

I will say that I’m definitely not shy lol. My social anxiety tends to manifest in me doing and saying socially awkward things when I’m nervous or anxious- half the time I’m aware it’s wrong to say and I still friggen say it.

That being said, I have some great friends and matt and I tend to be a hit together cause he relaxes me and casually lets me know if I’m not reading the room correctly or whatever.

 

Yeah I'm good on the poop thing.

 

i think were having a pretty mellow conversation. Ive heard people willing to get all of the STDs in the world just to suck a fart out her butt

 

dear lord