How can a room full of married people be empty? Because there’s not a single person there.
DAMN YOU CT!!!
I just saw a sea bird with a really negative attitude...it was a Pelican’t
:emoji_joy: ok, this one is great. @ThisPoorGuy ?
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough. I've just handed in my too weak notice.
I voted. For myself. [IMG]
Where do hamsters go on vacation? Hamster-dam.
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, “THE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!” It might be farmer Geddon.
What do you call leftover lettuce? The romaines
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin patch
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV? A pouch potato. [SPOILER]
When you have bladder infection, Urine trouble
Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020... the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Thank you and...
Someone spilled mayo all over me. I was like, “What the Hellmann!?”
3 and 5 seem to not get along. They seem to be at odds with each other.
While playing Mortal Kombat in Sweden, what does the announcer say at the end of a fight? Finnish Him!
Ok, I admit; this one is terrible.
I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them. I can tell when they're standing too. :emoji_joy::emoji_joy::emoji_joy:
How do you tell the gender of an ant? Drop it in water. If it sinks: girl ant, if it floats...Boy ant
Separate names with a comma.
